Author Archive

I’ve been doing some life coaching through Life Compass, which gives me 2 coaching calls a month.  My coach is Randee Krumwiede, and she is really great.  This month we are working through Failure.  Using Failure as the foundation to success.  Because without failure you can not know success.   I was going to write about this earlier today because the topic really hit home for me, but I kept putting it off.  Not because we were busy with work, though we were in the morning.  No I didn’t write about it because it was a scary topic for me…. I was failing!

From Dictionary.com

1.an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. the campaign was a failure.

2.nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear.

3.a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency: the failure of crops.

4.deterioration or decay, especially of vigor, strength, etc.: The failure of her health made retirement necessary.

5.a condition of being bankrupt by reason of insolvency.

6.a becoming insolvent or bankrupt: the failure of a bank.

7.a person or thing that proves unsuccessful: He is a failure in his career. The cake is a failure.

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I wanted to give a great big Thank you to my friend Julie.   She’s a CPA and Steve and I had some questions about our business, taxes, and turning our business into an LLC.  She met us this morning at a local Bagel shop and answered a bunch of our questions and pointed us in the right direction.   Now we know what we have to do first to get our business turned into an LLC.  She was a huge help and a great friend for doing this!  So thank you very much Julie!!!

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I actually have two best friends.  They both mean the world to me.  One I see and talk to everyday, the other I don’t see that often or talk to much, but we’re still as close as can be.  Funny how time and space don’t always make a difference when it comes to friends.

Meet Jen and her brand new baby girl Chloe.  Jen has been my best friend for around 14 years.  She’s like a little sister to me, and I love her to death.  She has been there for me through thick and thin, and I hope that I have done the same for her.  She means the world to me, and hopefully she and her little one will come out here to Vegas to visit me soon!  I love you Jen!!

This is my other best friend.  I talk about him a lot on this blog because he is a huge part of my life.  We’ve started a business together, bought a car together, are raising the boys together… hell, we even love playing poker together!  We literally spend almost 24 hours 7 days a week together!  LOL!  And we’re still best friends!  If that doesn’t say love, well I don’t know what does!

Who are YOUR best friends?

Aloha Friday’s were started by Kailani over at An Island Life.  She says that Friday’s are taken easy in Hawaii in preparation for the weekends.  I kinda like this idea!  She posts one simple question for everyone to answer on her blog and to participate on your blog you post one simple question.  So this is mine:

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

I only ask because Steve and I do not.  Our “anniversary” is at the end of Feb, and that is much more important to me than some day that the card companies came up with!  We have done things on Valentine’s day before, but mostly just because we were together on that day.  LOL!

So, if you’re like me and don’t celebrate Valentine’s day, do you celebrate your relationship on another day?

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I’ve been reading a book, “A Course In Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever” by Marianne Williamson, that has been really speaking to my soul.  It’s not an easy book to get through because each chapter is a different lesson on  reconnecting yourself to the Divine and letting go of all the emotional pain that has caused you to gain weight.  So although I’ve been reading the book for a few weeks, I’m barely into the 3 chapter.  This is a true WORK book.  The part of chapter 3 that I’m in right now, talks about letting go and giving to God (or whatever you want to call your higher power) all the things that are too much for you to handle.  I found it very fortuitous (maybe even coincidental) that I”m reading that part of the chapter the night before “Thankful Thursday”.  Because now I have what I’m thankful for!  I am very thankful for the Divine in my life.

I don’t fit into any one “textbook” style of Religion.  I don’t totally discount or dislike all things Christian, so most Pagans have a hard time agreeing with me.  I think that the bible has so much to teach us humans and I find it just as easy to believe in Jesus as it is to believe in Kali, Brigid, or any other God or Goddess.  I’ve always believed that there is more to the Divine than any one religion could ever possibly define.

That’s one of the reasons I love this book though.  It doesn’t try to define Divinity, it only recognizes it as whatever you feel comfortable with.  Personally, I feel comfortable with all names and none.  More often than not I call my higher power “The Universe” or “The Source” because both of those definitions seem as limitless as the Divine.

So today I am thankful for The Universe.  For being there for me throughout my life to take what I can not handle.  To hold my hand as I walk this path.  To take away the pain that is too much for me to bear alone.  I am grateful for this blessing, this gift, this knowledge that I don’t have to worry or struggle but can “Let Go and Let God”.  I cannot, but God Can!

Dearest Universe

Thank you for this blessed gift of knowing that no matter how heavy the weight of my pain becomes on my shoulders, that you are there to take away the burden.  That you are there to carry me through the obstacles that I have created for myself.  That I need not wonder if I am alone in this battle, that you are always there with me, helping me when I need it, and taking that which I can not carry.

Forever your faithful daughter

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Imbolc

Jennifer Galasso – magickal-art.com/

To all my Pagan/Wiccan friends I wish you all a very happy and blessed Imbolc!

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Yes, I said “Liger” not tiger!  A Liger is half lion and half tiger.  I’ve been reading about all the controversy over Amy Chua’s book and essay on WSJ “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior“.  Her book is “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Amy Chua“.  She uses the symbol of the Tiger as someone who is authoritative and powerful.  Well if you know anything about Lions you’ll know that they are mostly lazy, but the females do all the hard work.  So I figured, I’m sorta a combination of the two… with a little pussy cat thrown in!

In the Highly controverial essay Amy Chua explains how Chinese mothers are very strict on their children, thus bringing about academic success and over all successful children.  She says that Chinese mothers never coddle their children and have a long list of “never allowed to do” things for their children.

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

Any Chua also talks about an incident where her father called her “garbage” because she was being disrespectful to her parents, and how she also called her own daughter “garbage”.  Actually the entire essay in the WSJ is like reading a How To book  of emotional abuse tactics.  But of course she says it’s really ok because that’s how Chinese parents tell their kids they are strong.  Of course Ms. Chua’s eldest daughter comes to her mother’s defense in a very well written article in the New York Post.  Of course in that article Amy’s daughter explains how “she decided to be an easy child to raise early on” basically to avoid the wrath of Mama Tiger.  Sound like an abused child syndrome?

Really Amy Chua’s way of parenting is only one extreme.  There are those parents to go to the exact opposite extreme of parenting, they call themselves the “Free Range” type.  They basically let their kids roam freely anywhere they want to go without adult supervision.  Not only trusting that nothing bad will happen to their kids by the hands of other people, but also trusting that their kids aren’t completely spoiled brats who will cause other people problems.

Then there are the “Helicopter Parents“, which I have been accused of being on more than one occasion.  Of course, mostly the people who accuse me of this are the “Free Range” sort, so I take it with a grain of salt.  Helicopter parents are Marge Simpson on steriods… they fear for their children at every step of life and want the entire world to adjust to their child’s needs.

Really I like to think of myself as somewhere in the middle.  Although I’m probably really too lazy to be directly in the middle all the time.  That would take too much work.  LOL!  I breastfed my boys until they were almost 2 years old, and they shared my bed until they were ready for their own.  Not simply because I thought it was best, though I did.. but also because I didn’t really want to get up to feed them at 3am, when I could roll over and let them nurse while I slept.  I really didn’t like listening to them scream at night, when it was so much easier to lay down in bed with them until they fell asleep… and about half the time I went to sleep then too.

I was raised the same way really.  Although my mom didn’t know anything about homeschooling, she did what she could.  She put me into private christian schools and used them like babysitters that had educational activities while I was there, rather than expecting them to give me an “education” that she knew I’d actually get educated in College.  So it was when I wasn’t in school that I got my education.  We’d watch educational television (which was NOTHING like the stuff we have today!  There was no Discovery Channel!), we’d play all sorts of games which not only gave me my competitive tendency but also broadened my horizon.  Reading all sorts of books was always on the agenda as well, and plenty of discussions about everything.  It was always at home where I really learned things, not at school.  School was for “lip service”, which was encouraged, but as I got older and tired of giving schools what they wanted and rebelled against it, I wasn’t punished for getting bad grades.  Again, because my mom felt like anything that came before College didn’t really matter.

Of course this is where I got my disrespect for “traditional” schools and part of why I have always homeschooled my sons.  Of course, where most homeschoolers tend to push excelling at the various subjects and knowing more about this and that, I’m the opposite.  I don’t really care if the boys don’t get 100% on all the subjects, or if they don’t know their world geography.  Until I started in the career I have now, I couldn’t point out the various states on a map!  Not because I wasn’t smart enough, or hadn’t been taught, but because I didn’t CARE where IA was on a map and never used that information.  Now that I use that information on a daily basis, I can point out where every state is… but don’t ask me where any other country is on a map, ok!!  LOL!

In Amy Chua’s article about Chinese mothers she also relates a story about how she got her youngest daughter, who was 7 at the time, to learn a particularly hard piano piece.  Amy used all sorts of threats to the child, from taking away her toys to not feeding her dinner or lunch, until the girl learned the piece.  Finally the little girl did learn it and performed amazingly at the recital.  This anecdote was to show how wonderfully the threats worked.

This brought to memory my own childhood when I was learning to play the piano.  My mom’s boyfriend at the time was quite distraught over how my mom never forced me to practice playing the piano.  He had ideas similar to Amy Chua’s and forced his sons to practice practice practice.  Of course at the time, his children were grown and hated the piano and never touched it.  My mother’s philosophy was that if I wanted to play the piano I would and if not, then the piano would go back to the rental store.

Of course, I was around 9 or 10 at the time and I didn’t really like practicing, even though I loved playing the piano.  I was in 4th grade and because I wasn’t practicing my mom sent the piano back to the store.  The following school year I didn’t take piano lessons and didn’t perform in the school recital.  But since it was a small school, everyone had to attend the recital during school hours.  By the end of the recital I was in tears because I missed playing the piano so much.  That evening I begged my mom to let me have the piano back and after much convincing she did get me a piano.  From that moment on, I practiced so much that my mom would get angry at me for  being on the piano all day.  Part of the lesson was to fill out a card to show how many hours a day I practiced.  When I continually brought in cards that showed I played 30 hours a week on the piano, my teacher called my mother to confirm that this was accurate.  She thought I had lied, and my mom had to tell her that I was ALWAYS on the piano now.  I ended up getting trophies at the end of the year for most hours practiced, most improved student, and for one of my pieces that I learned to play.  I have never stopped loving the piano because *I* wanted to play, not because I was forced to.

This is the same philosophy I have for my boys too.  I don’t force them into doing things.  If they are interested then they will practice and if they aren’t and don’t practice then I’m not going to pay for lessons and materials.  The things they are really interested in you can see them practicing and getting better at because THEY love it, not because *I* want them to.

I also let my boys fail at things.  I had to do this with my youngest just this last semester.  The charter school we use had a deadline for getting certain things done, for which Jack was falling really far behind.  It was his choice NOT to do the work when he was supposed to.  And because of that, he ended up not getting a very good grade, even though he did finish the work, and had to continue to work through the weekend and a holiday to get it done.  But that was HIS choice.  This new semester however shows me exactly how much he doesn’t like “failing”, because now he’s already ahead of schedule, doing all the extra credit work and getting almost straight A’s.  That is while having MORE work than last semester!  It wasn’t my pushing him that did this, it was him failing at something and not liking that feeling!

There are things that I push them at, but each of my kids are very different.  I don’t treat them both the same way.  Any good parent understands this.  Jack is a mushroom… he would stay at home all day every day and never do anything at all, no matter how much fun it is, if I let him.  I have to shove and drag him out of the house to do fun things.  Generally, after he gets to whatever it is and is having fun he says to me “Mom, thanks for making me do this, I’m having a lot of fun.”  Now of course he doesn’t remember this when I’m forcing him to do something else, even with me, Steve and his brother all reminding him of what happens EVERY time I push him out of the house.  But that’s just who he is.  Roger I don’t have to push to do fun things… I do have to push him to work because he gives up on himself to easily.  He doesn’t think he’s smart or good at much, so he doesn’t try to do his best at things.  He thinks the only reason he gets good grades is because he’s “good at taking tests”, which only means he can take a test to him (Ironically, this is the bar for Amy Chua’s idea of great parenting, how well a child does at tests).  So I have to use different techniques for each of the boys for different reasons.

If I were a helicopter parent Jack would probably have no social life, be going to “therapy” for Autism 3 times a week, have tutors of all sorts and still not be a functional person.  If I were a “Free Range” mom, Roger and his girlfriend would probably have a baby by now, and he’d be wandering who knows where in Las Vegas doing who knows what!  If I were a chinese parent both boys would be scared to death of me, but they’d have straight A’s, play concert piano/violin and would be in therapy because they can’t seem to ever please their mother.  Personally, I think I like being a Liger Pussy Cat Mom… somewhere in between all of the extreme parents, loving my kids and doing whatever I feel is best for them.  Luckily, we can all do that still, here in the US.

So, what kind of Mother are you?  Are you an over-protective worry wort Helicopter Mom, a Free Range anything goes Mom, A authoritarian dictator strict Tiger mom?  Or somewhere in the middle with me?  Whatever  you are, I’m sure you’re doing the best you can with what you have to work with… I know I am!

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The boys are pretty independent now that they are both in High school.  I don’t talk much about homeschooling anymore because I’m not doing much with their schooling.  We use an online charter high school because I didn’t have the time to devote to their curriculum while running and growing my business.  It was the easiest and best solution.  That being said, I do supplement their education with projects and reports that I assign them to make sure that their education is going in the direction that I want it to.  Today I saw a video excerpt that made me VERY thankful that I am homeschooling in Nevada, though.  This could easily have been me and the boys.

I can’t imagine having to go through this. I feel so horrible for this mom and her daughter. I wonder what exactly were these judges thinking? Can’t they see that by trying to do this they are taking away her 1st amendment right to freedom of religion?? That means she can teach her daughter about any religion she wants, not just what the state approves of? There are so many people out there that just don’t under stand that homeschooling is a good option, but instead they think that we’re all just a bunch of religious fanatics, ignorant racists, or someone even tried to say we were bored and unintelligent housewives! (Be warned, the preceding link will make you laugh and want to strangle the woman at the same time).

This is why I’m so grateful to be homeschooling in Nevada.  Here not only is it totally one hundred percent legal, but the schools must allow homeschoolers to participate in classes and extra-curricular events and classes as well!  So if my son wanted to take band at the local high school, he could (if there was room).  Of course Nevada being the last on the list of good schools in the US (or maybe that’s the top worst public schools?) it doesn’t surprise me that so many parents are choosing to homeschool here.

I guess when we are trying to decide where we want to move to for business reasons, New Hampshire will NOT be one of those states!  Not that it was in the running, but it’s definitely not in the running now!

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The complete cast includes:

• Melissa Peterman – “Carli Mitchell”
• Ed Asner – “Hank Greziak,” Carli’s neighbor.
• Steve Kazee – “Nick Garrett,” Carli’s brother.
• Patrick Fabian – “Rob Parker,” Carli’s boss and love interest.
• Lachlan Buchahan – “Scott Mitchell,” Carli’s eldest son.
• Courtney Merritt – “Pam Mitchell,” Carli’s daughter.
• Cameron Castaneda – “Will Mitchell,” Carli’s youngest son.

The show will also feature multiple guest stars throughout the season, including recently-announced Reba, whose on-screen reunion with Melissa Peterman will air in February. Additional guest stars include David Faustino (“Married with Children” and Not Another B Movie); Kathy Kinney (“The Drew Carey Show” and “The Secret Life of the American Teenager”); Martin Mull (“Roseanne” and “’Til Death”); John Schneider (“The Dukes of Hazzard” and “Smallville”); Ryan Stiles (“Whose Line Is It Anyway” and “The Drew Carey Show”); and Lesley Ann Warren (“In Plain Sight” and “Desperate Housewives”), as well as CMT’s own Evan Farmer from CMT TOP 20 COUNTDOWN.
WORKING CLASS is executive produced by Jill Cargerman (“Spin City,” “Las Vegas,” “Gary Unmarried”) and Bryan Johnson of The Film Syndicate.

Disclaimer:  I received a sneak peek of this show from One2One Network and CMT for review purposes only.  All opinions are 100% my own.

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Christine Plaisted